Proud

I just stood in front of the fridge's open door, stared at the half bottle of white Luxembourg wine, for a few minutes really. I looked at my watch to calculate time remaining for bed. Then I turned my eyes down to some berries, did …

I`m a dumbass

I know it is not Autumn, but hear this Happy new year! I have to report some small idiot stuff, sorry for your seconds ignoring this post if you will! I just got kicked out from my first fck boy`s cuz I think he realized …

erm what the hell are we ***

ok, i am 90% sure it was on twitter, there was a poll, asking for votes on tv shows, for how much they were reflecting bipolar on reallife. Spinning Out by Kaya Scodelario (i am biased but not on this matter) was mentioned as unrealistic. …

here i am

hellooo so. it feels like a forever for me but i think i crashed to burn and rose back within 10-15 days? to be fair, i did not really crash and burn per se, i just freaked out maybe? i mentioned i seeked help, then …

Black holes, dying and depression

For the last half of my life, I always wanted a black hole (not those kind, only a big black hole) to appear right below me and swallow me and I would disappear just like that. Be erased from this world, noone would remember as …

2nd time round

I had my second round of therapy today. after a month. told the dr as well, I do not recall almost 90% of what we discussed but he summarised the bits he wanted to track. he keeps telling me I am doing a good job, …

EOD report

we call it Z report 🙂 being the last letter of the alphabet? so. woke up 6 am, got out of bed, 630, showered, pampepered, undecisive on what to wear, 730. sat down home office. fucking hell. 10 am meeting with client. nothing works, i …

you and i

so i have met a new band today, with such a lovely song & video clip first time ever in past >3 years, i felt really sad that i had to return back to BE. life sucks. in the mood for halloween, i started watching …